Embrace change, follow my bliss, breathe away fear.

There are days when I walk nearly bursting with light, joy and pure gratitude.
I experienced this yesterday as I stood in front of a roomful of people in Burlington, Vermont and watched them open up to me. 

This mantra is part of a guided meditation 🧘‍♀️ I’m currently doing almost daily: Embrace change, follow my bliss, breathe away fear.

Embrace Change.
Despite my physical reaction to change, and I mean PHYSICAL- I have learned how to lean into it. And now I crave it. Change was hard for me to accept when I was a kid and teen. I liked things as they were, I was happy so why would I want to disrupt that peace. We have a natural human instinct to protect ourselves- fight versus flight. I didn’t realize that was why my stomach would tense up, my hearing would intensify, and I noticed absolutely everything in my immediate environment. 

Now when I notice myself reacting physically- I pause….
...take a breath.
...and ask myself what I’m noticing.
Why do I feel this way? Did someone say something, do something or am I receiving a message of some sort?
Change is ever present. Lean into it. It’s as present as the air we breathe every day. It’s a friend I embrace now.

Follow My Bliss.
Ah. My favorite journey, an ever evolving destination and a question I have toiled with for 2 decades.
I had 3 people come up to me yesterday and ask “How do I discover what I should be doing?”. I FEEL their struggle so easily.

Pause. Sit here. Sit IN THIS QUESTION. And then take action. I literally sat back and waited for the revelation for much too long. I waited for the universe to tell me. A message? An angel? A SIGN?! I waited for years. I took action despite my inner turmoil. I got my Masters in Social Work, started a photography business- took the leap from a job that felt like a dead end. All the while wondering why I felt like I was on some separate journey? My friends found amazing partners, married and started having kids. My 3 younger brothers married amazing women and now have babies. Where did I fit?

What the hell? It didn’t make sense.
But what DID make sense. What I leaned into and trusted- was my gut, my intuition- which kept telling me what NOT to do. Don’t say yes to that proposal. Don’t stay in this job. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t, don’t, don’t. Ignore the people that are confused by your journey, and the people that have some sort of strange jealousy. Be you. No matter what.

The more I discovered what I didn’t want, the closer I was getting to what I WOULD WANT. I just didn’t realize that yet :) there were things my soul needed to learn in order to be the person I am meant to be.
This part of my journey will never end.

However I can share that I have reached what I think is just the beginning of my bliss. If this is your frustration right now- my advice is to sit in it. Do not ignore it. Go away on a solo trip, turn off your phone for 72 hours- have no contact with the outside world. Spend time with YOU. Start doing something. Often time it’s in the action and quiet where our answer will find us. 

Get curious. STAY curious. Don’t fall into mediocre lifestyles.

Breathe Away Fear.
Next, I tackle this. Yup. Fear.
I’m going to make fear my friend.
First step, turn around and face it.